“5 And he that sat on the throne, said: Behold, I make all things new. And he said to me: Write, for these words are most faithful and true.
6 And he said to me: It is done. I am Alpha and Omega; the beginning and the end. To him that thirsteth, I will give of the fountain of the water of life, freely.
7 He that shall overcome shall possess these things, and I will be his God; and he shall be my son.” Rev 21 5-7
Its no secret to most people..if there is a hell, I have been through it, or maybe its purgations, who knows.
There was a point where my faith was all but extinguished. Like the Psalmist….I felt my God had forsaken me…left me to die..and I was broken beyond repair.
However…He Makes all things new..and further like the psalmist “He will not suffer his servant to die”.
Servant…. Thats something most people struggle with, and I certainly am no exception. As I stated earlier today on social media, I don’t do anything half heartedly, and my errors seem to follow suit with precision.
For about 3 years I wandered spiritually. I even at one point fled to Orthodoxy, thinking, the only thing that could fix me was rigidity, and structure. What I needed was sublimity.
Im glad to have found my parish that I am at now. I always certainly walked the line of “contemporary” and conservative, both in my approaches and understanding, and in my worship. But, the liturgy and the Sacred space is timeless.
Its no mere coincidence I am where I am at. As this church rebuilds…so I am rebuilding…falling desperately in Love with a God who cares enough to let us ALL screw up, if nothing else…so that we can, in our darkness…search for the glimmer of light that is him.
That’s a good metaphor for lent… a walk through darkness. As the season progresses we will deny ourselves more and more. Food… vices… even the last couple of weeks the church will deny us of some of the sacramentals, statues, and other items. These ..like God sometimes being silent, are not to keep those things from us..as much as to force us to go deeper…and rather then finding God in the Storm or earth quake… but rather, in the gentlest of winds.